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How long have you been in that bed? More importantly, when did you last wash the sheets? Get up, take a shower, get dressed and comb your hair or something. While a snap of a half-nude woman tangled in bed sheets might earn an immediate right-swipe from you, a similar picture of a man tends to come off as sleazy and unkempt. I tend to attribute the amount of bed selfies on men’s dating-app profiles to a discrepancy between what straight men want to see and what they think women want to see. You may think a picture of you looking all sleepy-eyed and half-nude in bed looks sexy, but it actually looks lazy. You thought that said “bad selfies” and then thought, “Wait, didn’t we just do this?” didn’t you? Nope, it says “bed selfies,” but truth be told, this entire article could just be a list of different kinds of bad selfies - which, again, is all of them - but I’ll limit specific selfie-shaming to the most egregious examples. While I can’t comb through your photo library and personally select your top five pics, I can tell you which ones to leave out. Unfortunately, you and your prospective matches might have different ideas about which photos are your best ones (sorry to your favorite shirtless selfie). In theory, selecting photos for a dating app profile should be fairly simple: just choose the best pictures of yourself.
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But in the age of dating apps, that’s the game, and you’ll get a lot further if you learn how to play it than you will trying to dismantle it. Should your entire value as a potential romantic partner come down to your appearance as captured by a handful of photographs? Probably not. In recent years, newer dating apps like S’More have attempted to provide a less overtly appearance-based platform through gimmicky stunts like blurring out photos, but on most mainstream dating apps, the photo is still king. On the vast majority of dating apps, your photo is the first thing a potential match sees, and thus the first (and often last) thing they judge. So far this season, we’ve covered your worst dating-app habits and behaviors, as well as the offensive, cliché and simply cringeworthy phrases you should banish from your bio. Hello and welcome to another episode of What Not to Do on Dating Apps.